A new beginning...

Since everyone who reads this blog already knows, I figured there's no harm in posting it on the interweb.  And, eventually I'll be going really public, and will have good documentation of this whole ridiculous process. 

So, ladies and gentlemen, it FINALLY FINALLY happened!!!!  August, 7 2010:
Yep, that's a plus sign!!!!  41 days into my cycle (which is only slightly long for me), and 20 months into this whole process, I got the result I was looking for.  That lovely plus sign, which means I"M PREGNANT!!!
Here's our reaction:

Ok, well my FIRST reaction was HOLY CRAP!!  My next reaction was tears.  Then it was joy.  Then some more joy.  Then even more joy.  Then some exhaustion.  Then some nausea.  Then more exhaustion.  Then fear. 

And that's where I'm at now.  I'm 7 weeks pregnant and have to wait 2 more whole weeks (which used to seem like no time at all, but now it feels like an eternity) before I see my OB.  And I'm terrified about this not lasting.  Like totally and utterly terrified.  If I start feeling good, I wonder if that's bad.  If I feel bad, I wonder if that's bad.  Even this moment, I feel surprisingly ok, which makes me so nervous.  So, I'm trying to stay calm, keep living like I'm living, and hope for the best. 

Keeping the secret is HARD.  It's challenging at work, especially on days like today when I'm offered a new responsibility which is kind of a big deal, and I accept it knowing full well that I may well be gaking a hiatus in April.  But saying no isn't an option, for many reasons, and giving away my secret would potentially get them all riled up for no reason.  So, I'm just pretending like everything is the same.  And it's just not.

I've also decided that I'm going to keep celebrating the joy (although I'm not allowing myself to buy anything baby related - with the exception of 2 baby books).  But I'm going to start documenting like it's going to last.  So, here are my first belly shots:

So, dear readers, I need all the love and good sticky vibes you can send my way!  I need to make it until April!


  1. Dear Hillary,
    I love you.

  2. Hi Hillary, this is Tia (stmueller from Spark).
    Just wanted to say again how happy I am for you!


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