Off our schedule

Graham transitioned to a big boy bed a few weeks ago.  Prior to that he was going through a stretch where he was waking up in the middle of the night - sometimes with nightmares and sometimes just because.  Luckily all it took was a hug and he was back to sleep.  That stopped and we decided to transition him to his big boy bed.  The first few nights were great - and then he realized how much freedom he has.  Since then it's been awful.  It takes anywhere from 30 to 90 minutes AFTER we kiss him good night (and after the 30-60 minutes regular bed time routine) of convincing him to stay the hell in his bed.  Which means he's going to sleep 30 to 90 minutes AFTER he should be.  Which means he's waking up 30 - 90 minutes BEFORE he should (or he's waking up in the middle of the night and coming in to our room and scaring the crap out of me and then still waking up insanely early).  As a result we are all totally off schedule.  I had a good thing going with my workout routine in the mornings.  Now, Graham is getting up in the middle of the night AND between 5 and 5:30 am.  I am tired.  And lacking the ability to workout in the mornings as a result.  This whole situation has me flummoxed. 

For one, because it's driving me absolutely crazy.  It's taking me twice as long to get anything done in the evenings because every 2-5 minutes I'm walking Graham back into his room.  The whole process of him getting up makes him more awake and then it takes him that much longer to settle down.  He's crankier during the day because he's not sleeping as much.  I'm crankier during the day because I'm not sleeping as much.  Jeff....well, Jeff never sleeps well, so it's sort of par for the course with him.

The other reason I'm feeling so at odds is that we are considering another child.  Which means that these nights of sleeplessness and days of being tired, cranky, and unmotivated will undoubtedly return.  When I was trying to get pregnant with Graham, I was fixated on my morning schedule.  How in the world would we walk Cooper, take care of the baby, get the baby to daycare, and then get to work on time?  I mean, I was obsessed with thinking about it.  And remarkably, it wasn't that hard!  It's much harder now to get out the door on time with a toddler who has very strong opinions about how and when things should be done.  Now that I'm thinking about the second, I'm obsessing over being able to exercise again (and therefore fitting into my pants again), and keeping some shred of sanity with two potentially "spirited" children. 

So if anyone has any useful suggestions on keeping my cool when Graham is in and out of his bedroom in the evenings - and tips for convincing him that it's awesome to stay in bed - I would appreciate them.  In general: how do you not totally lose your shit when your kid is being a jerk? Because I fail miserably at this pretty much 100% of the time that Graham is pushing my buttons.  I'm admitting to the blogosphere to swearing at my child (commence the judging) when he's whining, whining, whining, whining, crying, screaming, whining, crying, crying, crying, whining, crying, whining....nonstop about nothing.  I know this makes me an awful parent, a terrible example of what a patient person should look like, and in general a miserable human being, but some days I feel like I'm at my wits' end with this child. 

I promise to post something more positive soon; there have been really really good moments lately.  But a few of the bad ones are weighing heavy on me right now. 


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