Breech Baby

For several weeks I've been feeling like the hard mass around my abdomen is the baby's head and yet I've been unable to convince the doctor's to give me a definitive yes or no.  They would say things like...well, it might be. But don't worry, there is still time to move. So I went in at 34 weeks and measured small, which seems to be happening every other appointment lately.  She scheduled an ultrasound for the following week.  Ultrasound said baby was normal size (same thing happened back in July).  BUT - ultrasound also said he's breech and my amniotic fluid was low.  Doctor now became concerned about both of these things because 1) low fluid can be indicative of a leak and can cause baby growth problems and 2) breech baby approaching 36 weeks means baby might stay breech.  Sigh. I was instructed to chug fluid for 2 days and return for another ultrasound.  The good news is I got my fluid into normal range and it's not leaking.  Bad news: baby still breech.  So - I've been doing all the homeopathic tricks to attempt to turn baby:

• moxibustion
• inversions
• ice pack on belly
• chiropractor visit for Webster technique
• flashlight on belly

He gets real squirmy, but no sign of doing a big flip.  Since my fluid level is back up and assuming it stays back up, I have scheduled an external cephalic version for this Friday.  I'm kind of freaking out.  Partly because it's a medical procedure that is low, but not no, risk.  Partly because I have SO much to do for work this week to feel ready for this baby to arrive.  This is the first time I've really felt panicked about having another baby, working full time, and planning a conference for my state's professional organization. My committee meeting is Friday afternoon and I fear that even if the procedure goes well, I won't make it to the meeting, which is our last in person before the winter (and oh yeah, the conference is in March).  Also, I'm freaking out that something will go wrong with this procedure and baby will have to be delivered Friday.  

Consequently, I'm feeling nauseous and jittery.  And if this procedure (and all my other DIY baby turning tricks) don't work, baby will be delivered via C-section in 2.5 weeks!!!! I'm in many ways not nearly as prepared for this baby as I was for Graham, but really from just a superficial perspective.  His quilt isn't done.  He has no decor in his room.  Oh yeah, and if I have a C-Section, I have no place comfortable to sleep (I've been told to sleep in a recliner because sitting up from laying can be brutal after surgery).  And we have the pack n play which Graham slept in which really wasn't ideal because there is no recline but it won't fit by the side of my bed.  So, I guess neither of us have ideal sleeping situations.  Also, the cushions on the rocking chair don't exactly match.  But that doesn't matter.  I more or less know what to expect from a newborn.  I don't know what to expect from my older child and I think that is more terrifying.  

So I've gone into panic mode, which is not a place that I like to be.