My relationship with food

When I first started my weight loss journey, I counted calories. Like all of them. I inputted recipes into an online program that would calculate calories. It was an arduous process. But eventually, I learned to ballpark how much food I should be eating daily. And because I'm smart, I learned how to eat healthfully and learning the difference between a good and a bad calorie.

Over the years I've seen my weight yo-yoing by about 8 pounds. When I get super stressed and busy, I tend to fixate on my controlling my food. And I also tend to get too obsessed with the number on the scale. Which is silly because even at my heaviest, I wasn't even considered overweight. Out of shape? Oh hell yes. But not overweight.

When I started doing Beachbody programs a year ago, my weight was at an all-time low. Once again I became fixated on following the portion fix program exactly. I didn't need to lose weight. I'm super active, had just increased my activity level, and was not eating enough. My clothes were all too big and I found myself complaining about the "saggy butt" in my jeans. Ridiculous, right? And at the risk of TMI, I will share that I didn't get my period for 3 months. Now, I don't get one every 4 weeks (never have), but I'm usually every 5-6 weeks. And no, I wasn't pregnant. It finally dawned on me - I need to gain some weight.
So I stopped being SO exact with my portion fix plan and would eat more fruits and veggies if I was hungry. I think its a great system because it teaches about ratios and portions and it's way easier than counting calories. And it even offers you the flexibility of eating more if that's what you need. I gained some weight and all systems were a go. My clothes fit better and I was getting stronger because of my workouts!

Stress also makes me crave sweets and alcohol. This summer we moved. I worked for an unpleasant man and was in tears weekly freaking out about my job. I gained weight because I was drinking too much and eating a lot of chocolate. After 4 months in this new place, I lost my job, which as it turns out, was one of the best things that could possibly happen to me.

These last 6 weeks have been a refreshing change of pace. I'm at home and find myself able to do projects that I've been wanting to do: to spend more time talking about, researching, and living a physically healthier lifestyle. I'm making peace with what seems to be my body's ideal weight (which is a very reasonable and super healthy number). And I'm excited about the gains that I've made in my strength and endurance.

I'm also trying to limit my sweets and alcohol. Partly in effort to be in control, I'll admit it, but also because when I do have those things, I want them to actually be a treat. As I tell my kids, it's not a treat if you eat it every day. And frankly, they don't always make me feel better! I'm not being strict with eating extra fruits, veggies and proteins if I feel hungry, because it's about balance. It's about viewing food as fuel in addition to comfort. I want to celebrate the foods that I can and should eat rather than to obsess over the food that I can't eat.

Healthy eating can and should be enjoyable. If you view it as a sacrifice, it will be hard. If you're working out daily and you know that the food you are eating is providing you with the nutrition to live healthfully, you will lose weight if you need to lose weight, you will gain weight if you need to gain weight, and you will be happier for it.

If you are struggling to find your healthy eating groove, let's talk. Message me on my FB page or comment on my blog!


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