I pity the fool

I actually had myself convinced that I was pregnant this month.  Like, convinced.  And I was so excited that I would be able to tell all the people that are most important to me in person, since I'm seeing all of those people in the next 2 weeks.  Oh yeah, and if I was pregnant, I would be due at the end of February, and we'd have ourselves another pisces.

But I was wrong.  And now I feel foolish.  And stupid.  I should have known better than to get excited. 

It's made me think of what I'm doing in my life that is helping me and what isn't.  Therapy I think was good for a while, but I don't think it is any more.  I just feel like I get to her and bitch about work, and it's causing me stress to have to know that I have that appointment every other Monday.  And I'd rather start saving that money for something that might actually help me through this process - like medical intervention.  So, I'm going to tell her on Monday that I'm done.

You know what's not helping me either?  Beer.  I love it, but I can't keep drinking like I have been. 

And maybe caffeine, too.  I'm going to try to ween myself off of caffeine by slowing replacing regular with decaf and then I can stop that too and save myself the $30 a month.

And we'll see about acupuncture.  I'm not convinced its working.  And it's expensive.

But you know what makes me feel good?  Yoga.  I feel good and strong and calm when I'm done.  AND - it's free!  Win win.

So that's my plan.  Starting Monday, things are going to change.


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