They say elephants never forget

I wish that I was an elephant and that I never forgot things.  Too bad I forget things ALL THE TIME now.  Seriously - since becoming pregnant and even more since becoming a mom, my brain has become so overloaded with baby stuff (when was the last time he ate, slept, was changed, what did he eat, how much, is his bag fully packed, does he have snacks at daycare (damn it - I was supposed to buy snacks at Meijer this morning), is he happy, is he healthy, how many diapers does he have left,  do his clothes fit, do we have wipes, what food should he be eating, how much milk does he need at this age, why does he have that rash, why won't he drink out of a sippy cup.......), that there is absolutely no room for anything else.  I forget everything.  I can't remember dates.  I lose stuff.  All the time.  It's becoming a problem.  People make fun of me for needing to have a place for everything, but that's because if I don't, I will lose it.  If I stray even a tiny bit from my system, then everything completely falls apart.

Case in point: this week I planned two events that conflicted with other things which I knew about, but forgot because I didn't write them on my calender.  We spent all of our current vacation money on a plane ticket to visit Nate in Portland (my ticket was paid for by points) on the EXACT weekend I was scheduled to do my portion of the Midwest CTCL tour for work.  I realized it the next day and went into total panic mode.  THANK GOODNESS I work with great, supportive people who are totally helping me out of a jam.  It doesn't mean I still won't feel guilty about it, but I feel better.  I also scheduled Graham's birthday party for May 13th, which is Mother's Day.  Not having lived in the same city (or state) as our mother's in a long time (14 years for me), it's never been something we've really celebrated.  But other people celebrate it.  Of course I realized this the day AFTER I finished making the invitations.  Upon reviewing my calendar, the only other available weekend date (literally - the only one) between now and June is April 29.  I'm gone most of the week prior to this date and my parents will have only just moved here.  Plus, it's short notice.  So I figure we'll stick with May 13th, acknowledging that no one but our parents will come, and I will just have to be ok with that (I have terrible luck throwing parties anyways - when you have a small number of friends, most of whom live at least 45 minutes away, it's really hard to convince people you're worth coming to see).

And yet I keep trying to take on more at work.  While I feel like a better person in a lot of ways since becoming a mom (I try really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt, to listen more, to be less judgmental, to be more patient), I also feel a little out of control and I do NOT like it.  Is this an affliction that other moms face?


  1. So, when are you coming out this way? Are you bringing baby with you? Sorry if it sounds creepy, I live in the Portland area and it would be cool to know you are here even if I don't actually ever meet you...yeah, that sounds creepy. :-)


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