40 weeks 4 days and I'm home
Today I am at home. Not working from home; just at home. And it's hard! Mostly because I think I had this grand plan of working up until "the day." Like I would be feeling achy or something at work, I'd get home and then head to the hospital that night. Well, such is not the case. Today is a giant visit program at work, and in the (unlikely) possibility that I'd need to go to the hospital in the middle of the day, no one would be readily available to drive me to Grand Rapids. So upon the council of my friends/coworkers and my husband, I am staying home. I will mostly likely even stay home next week, too. I just so do not want to waste even one second of my leave being at home without my baby, that this is/was an incredibly difficult decision for me to make. The overriding factor is my commute. If I worked 5 minutes from home or in the same city as my husband, I think this would be a non-issue.
So yesterday I stayed late to help check in our visitors and then as everyone told me they hoped not to see my on Monday, my response was, "we'll see." But I did get to tell my good friends Jess and Maureen that the likelihood was that yesterday was my last day. Of course, they are the people that I'll definitely see during my leave, but they're also the ones I wanted to be sure to hug before going (I had missed Suzanne, otherwise she would have been in the know, too). These 3 have been through this before, so I know they understand not wanting to make it a huge deal.
So here I am, at home, no baby, just waiting. It's a crappy rainy day and I have a wet dog. I'd like to clean up around here, but the floor will have to wait until the muddy paws dry. And then I don't know what I'm going to do. Yoga. Shower. Groceries? Maybe today should be pedicure day? I don't know. I feel guilty being here since I know I can handle work and I feel guilty being home when Jeff is working. I will continue to feel guilt, sadness, I don't know what else, once Jeff goes back to work exhausted after baby is born, and I get to stay here with the baby taking naps. But I know I have to let those feelings go. It's just hard being an active career woman who likes to run the show being told to take it easy.
Anyways, in case you were wondering, this is what overdue looks like; I'll admit, I make it look good. :)
So yesterday I stayed late to help check in our visitors and then as everyone told me they hoped not to see my on Monday, my response was, "we'll see." But I did get to tell my good friends Jess and Maureen that the likelihood was that yesterday was my last day. Of course, they are the people that I'll definitely see during my leave, but they're also the ones I wanted to be sure to hug before going (I had missed Suzanne, otherwise she would have been in the know, too). These 3 have been through this before, so I know they understand not wanting to make it a huge deal.
So here I am, at home, no baby, just waiting. It's a crappy rainy day and I have a wet dog. I'd like to clean up around here, but the floor will have to wait until the muddy paws dry. And then I don't know what I'm going to do. Yoga. Shower. Groceries? Maybe today should be pedicure day? I don't know. I feel guilty being here since I know I can handle work and I feel guilty being home when Jeff is working. I will continue to feel guilt, sadness, I don't know what else, once Jeff goes back to work exhausted after baby is born, and I get to stay here with the baby taking naps. But I know I have to let those feelings go. It's just hard being an active career woman who likes to run the show being told to take it easy.
Anyways, in case you were wondering, this is what overdue looks like; I'll admit, I make it look good. :)
You look absolutely fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI was six days overdue with my first and three days overdue this last time. I both love and hate the "overdue" period, but it mostly felt exciting to me.
I'm very excited that you'll soon be meeting your little boy for the first time!
Aileen (LISSOME)